LOVE? IT'S THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND

[inthesaferoom]

a (*not at all) short exploration of michael munroe's obsessions and tendencies as
they project and lead into
a short downfall and staggered ascent into
his own complex peculiarities and
simple obscurities

Comments

@ xmascake , a series of messages

[inthesaferoom]

[ So maybe after the last encounter with that other Mike, the one with Emily right there? He's been plagued with thoughts. It's definitely a plague, because he shouldn't be thinking about this asshole at all. The shorthand for him has turned into calling him evil but maybe Mike can't do that anymore?

He knows better. He does. And yet he keeps thinking, maybe he doesn't. He's going to blame this stupid state of being knocked up. There is no other damn reason.

He ends up digging out his match to the tablet he gave the guy on his birthday, by recommendation of his stupid therapist. Because he's not lying about everything this time, Mike can't fucking do that. There's no way the other Mike kept his own, he's decided. So he can use it to write into the void and know it won't be read. Get this shit out before he gets stuck feeling it. ]

[inthesaferoom]

[ A day later? ]

low key wonder if we're not fucking different

i cant be obsessed with some guy and thinking life ain't worth living without him and then get pissed at you because you think the same shit about me

Except fuck that because you tried to take me out for not being with you

Fuck this

[ He gets pissed for awhile but eventually comes back near dawn the next morning. ]

okay but if you think you need me to live was gaslighting me just trying to survive idk

not like I haven't done bad shit to live

not like that at all

[ Except this pisses him off too? He abandons it again for a few more days. ]

terrible

awful

maybe i keep hating you because i don't and i want you around and we just cant fucking have that

if i actually like you i have to either like myself or commit to hating myself so much i call myself the worst version of all

[ Just abandoning that again, he doesn't want to fucking see it. A few more days, then right before the birth of Christopher. ]

❝ Promise me this / If I lose to myself / You won't mourn a day / And you'll move on to someone else ❞

or else

[ Just leaving it at that and he doesn't think it'll be worrisome because he doesn't think any of it is being read. He'll send a text about the actual birth eventually. For now he's spending time with that kid. ]